A Guide & Questions to Get You Started
You might have thought that writing your own wedding vows would be quick and easy. After all, you could say a million things you love and know about the person you are engaged to marry… but maybe that’s part of the problem. With so much you could say, how do you figure out which parts of that you do say and how do you get them onto paper in an organized way? You deserve less stress in every part of your wedding planning process, so we put together a guide to wedding vows and a list of questions to help you write your perfect vows.
First, there are some things you’ll want to keep in mind as you start writing:
- Decide how long you want your vows to be. How long are wedding vows? There isn’t one right answer to that. They can be a few short and sweet sentences or a page long declaration. Just remember to keep your wedding ceremony length in mind and agree on a length that works for both of you.
- Keep your wedding officiant in the loop. It can be easy to get wrapped up in all the planning and forget about details here and there, so be sure to talk with your wedding officiant about the vows and what to expect. Things like length and tone (are they serious, romantic or funny wedding vows) will help your wedding officiant write their own part of the ceremony and know what to expect.
- Write a rough draft of your wedding vows, then revise. The first draft should let you get all your thoughts out on paper, then you can go back through and organize them.
- Write honestly and openly. Your vows are about your unique relationship, and are a look inside the reasons why you love each other. So reach deep and don’t hold back!
Next, we have some wedding vows examples and questions to help you start the writing process:
- How did you meet? The story of how you met, and how you felt when you met them, can be a good way to start your vows.
- How have they changed your life for the better? We all learn things and see changes in ourselves when we get to know new people. Sharing the impact they’ve had on you is important as you start this new chapter in your life together.
- What do you love about them? This could be things they do for you or others, unique features or something they’re good at.
- Do you have any specific memories you want to share? If you include a memory, or reference to one, in your personal wedding vows you’ll want to be sure to keep it short. It should be something that is significant to the two of you, or something that had an impact on your relationship development.
- Do you share any hobbies or interests? Enjoying your time together is something you’ll be doing for the rest of your lives. The things you do together have had a big impact on how your relationship formed and turned into an engagement.
- What do you look forward to in the future as a couple? Whether you have specific plans as a couple going into your future, or your only real plan is to enjoy each other’s company, sharing what you are looking forward to is a good thing to include in your vows.
- Are there any struggles you’ve worked through together? Marriage will bring trials and challenges, and you’ve likely already experienced some. Talking about how you got through those and what you learned shows your resilience as a couple and your strength together.
- Do you have any promises for your spouse? Growth, commitment and goals are just a few categories that could answer this question. It could also be as simple as “to love and to hold”.
Example wedding vows:
I’ve known there is something about you that is just right for me from the first few hours we spent together. You showed me your photography, and you didn’t know it at the time, but you also showed me your passion for beauty and exploration.
Since then, we’ve made so many great memories in the years that have passed. Every adventure with you has become a fond memory of going through life with my best friend. Those adventures, and the not so adventurous times as well, have walked us through growth, tolerance and love. You’ve taught me to be a little more patient, sometimes by testing it and sometimes by showing me more patience than I was presenting. We’ve grown so much together, and I’m looking forward to a lifetime of continuing to grow with you by my side.
I promise to always try for you. To work on myself when I need to set my pride aside, to continue to show you love and forever appreciate everything I love about you and everything you do for me.
I’m so happy that we get to exchange dumb jokes forever and have endless movie and junk food nights. Most of all, I’m happy to have my best friend by my side for everything that is to come. I love you, so much!
The most important thing to remember is that your wedding vows are uniquely yours, and there is no wrong way to write how you feel about the person you will be spending the rest of your life with!